Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize