y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
