doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
