hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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