dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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