fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
