Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
how drunk are you?
Several
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
