kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
