i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
