I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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