Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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