I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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