Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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