did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize