Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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