What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
