i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
