the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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