at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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