I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I died a long time ago.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
