I love black thongs
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
