Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
