no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
