I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
