Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
