the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
