found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
