Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
