your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
