Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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