do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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