doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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