Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Randomize
