OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
