How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
