what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He shit in the fireplace
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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