found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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