I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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