I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
