I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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