I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
