Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
