Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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