i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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