and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
