She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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