She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
