Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize