if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i've created a new STD.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
