Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
