Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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