tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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