she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
