i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
