I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
