If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
