I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
