absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
