Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
