i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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