you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
