Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
