Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
