There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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