Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
