The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you inspire me to be a worse person
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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