they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Actions speak louder than pants.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
