OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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