i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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