...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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