doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
